Dear Jennifer Aniston. I’ve Been Thinking About Your Wedding Hair…

Tue, 14 August 2012 12:40PM

I know you don’t know me. But I, like every other girl on this planet, feel that I know you very well. At least from a beauty point of view. My first close encounter with you – and your makeup – came soon after I had started working in magazines, and you had just started starring on some show called Friends. My editor sent me down to Priceline with a photo of you – our next cover – and I had to match every piece of makeup you were wearing to what was in store. The cover sold its socks off (and probably that makeup did, too). And then so did every other cover of you we followed up with (and there were many). Soon practically every mag in our company was running covers of you (the gardening mags would even have done so, if they could have found a shot of you in dungarees) and I swear you single-handedly kept our company afloat. So thanks for that.

I also know your hair intimately well. Having studiously copied it many many times. Not ‘The Rachel’ though. That was a bit too much of a high-maintenance ‘do for me. But the circa-Brad hair. Sorry to bring the ex up. But he did seem to be a key moment in your hair metamorphosis. In fact, that was how I realised you were in love and that it was serious. Suddenly you weren’t looking cute. You obviously wanted to look sexy and my, did you ever:

I was inspired. I grew my hair. I straightened it. I spritzed on gloss. And I got honey highlights. And then one day, my deputy editor looked at me and said, “You have Jennifer hair. I hate you.” Imagine if I’d also had a Brad Pitt. That could have been career-limiting.

Then you married. And you had long, slightly beachy hair, with a diamond pin scattered here and there, and you just looked divine. As did BP.

It’s funny, you both got a little scruffy after that. We all drop our guard and let some standards slip once the rings are on our fingers. And sure, it can be good to lighten up. I mean look how happy you were here:

Anyway, we all know what happened next. And we didn’t see much of you for about a year. Fair enough, I would have been holed up inside with my dog and a huge bar of chocolate, too. And then you came out:

And your hair was fun and flirty and said everything a single girl’s hair should say. Apparently you never wear your hair up because you like to play with it. That’s a clever come-hither cue, because men love to play with our hair, too. It’s in their DNA. Even my three-year-old boy demands ‘hair down’ whenever it’s in a top-knot. Having hair to fiddle with and twist around your fingers is also a good strategy if you want to stop smoking, Jen, as it preoccupies those nicotine-obsessed fingers. Just saying.

And then you met The One. The Other One. The Sequel. Whatever you call Justin Theroux in this complicated world. I’m so happy for you, as I’m sure is every other girl who has ever had her heart cracked into a thousand pieces.

I’m also happy for your hair. Because while I have loved you with the beachy, wavy hair you wore for what seemed like an eternity, I have also loved watching you grow it back to its long slinky glory this past year. That’s how I knew this relationship was serious. He was worth getting out the straighteners for.

Now that you’re engaged – and congrats, by the way – may I suggest a wedding ‘do? I think it should be different to the first one – for obvious reasons – but not too different. Because you have become that quintessential beachy girl. The one who runs on the sand with her dog, then slips into a little white dress, dusts on some bronzer, and is good to go. You’re not fussy or fiddly or intricate. You never do an up-do. Which is why it would be weird to wear your hair up when you’re going down the aisle. Don’t you think you should look like yourself – albeit a prettier version – on your wedding day?

That’s why I think your hair should look the same, but with a little something-something. A veil, of course, is certainly a something, if you choose to wear one again. Or some kind of braid, like the one you did a couple of years ago at the Oscars, back when you were dating John Mayer (sorry to make you shudder; anyway, we all have John Mayers lurking in our dating past). But that pretty plait showed your girlie side and we loved it.

Otherwise, what about a half-up style? It’s the perfect in-between hair – not too done, nor too undone. We actually just compiled a gallery of half-up hair styles for you to peruse. I’m sure you’ll find something inspiring there, as there have been so many great versions on the red carpets lately. And don’t worry, there’s not one shot of you-know-who.

Yours in love and hair,

Kat x

Posted by: Katrina Lawrence

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Tags: beachy hair, braids, bridal, featured, half up, jennifer aniston, wedding hair