Zoe's Blog

Launch Editor ZOE FOSTER

Sh*t my dad says.

Tue, 22 February 2011 2:30PM

So last weekend I trotted off down to Bundanoon (“We don’t sell bottled water but we DO have 37 hair salons so come and have a snip, why don’t you!”) and enjoyed a very interesting perspective on beauty, care of my dad.

First of all, it occurred to me that every time I see my Dad, he has some kind of comment on my appearance. I call it the Welcome/Instant Appraisal Comment. Mum has one too, (“your hair looks so lovely when you let the natural curls come through, why don’t you wear it like that more often? I don’t understand, you were born with these beautiful curls and you do everything in your power to make them disappear… people would KILL for curls like that, you know,’) but Dad’s tend to be more amusing and, uh, more blunt.

Once, when I had a cold sore, and he was driving me to work at McDonalds (this was like, months ago), he spotted it and stopped the car. ‘Well you can’t go serving people with that thing on your face!” He was right, but something about his brutal delivery always (surprisingly) made me immediately defensive. So I told him I’d cover it up once I got there, duh, (I had already spent 45 minutes trying) and he relented and allowed me to sell Quarter Pounders to a hungry nation.

On Saturday, for example, because I was wearing a jovial floral dress and a top knot and pink lipstick, he said, I “looked like a bloody 12-year old” To his defense, I kind of did. Just with more bronzer.

But the real gem came later, when the discussion turned to mum’s eyebrows. Or rather her lack of them. Ysee, mum doesn’t HAVE eyebrows. She’s Dutch, and extremely fair (just ask her, she’ll pull back her hair to the scalp and prove it in a flash) and because you don’t need eyebrows if you wear clogs or plant tulips, she simply wasn’t given any eyebrows. Oh look, they’re there, extremely faintly, a few white hairs, but they could never accused of being eyebrows in a court of law.

So what did her eyebrow-obsessive progeny do recently? She took her off to her brow guru and had her makeup done and her brows filled in, just to see what they’d look like.

As expected, they were a triumph.

Here she is in Real Life, sans eyebrows…

And then with them all filled in beautifully:

Huh? HUH??? You get it, right?

That lovely brow shape (care of Lien the Brow Magician, of course) makes her eyes stand out and frame her face and do all manner of wonderful thing for her face.

After this revelation, Mum and I discussed mum maybe tattoo-ing her brows, in a fresh and modern way, which a few talented people do these days, (we’ve moved on from those horribly thin, black-Artline-looking brow tattoos thank GOD). Mum was very keen on this idea; she thought she looked terrific with her new face furries. And she did.

‘No! I won’t have it,’ said Dad. ‘Your mother’s lack of eyebrows is what makes her so beautiful, I’ve always said that.’

‘You have not,’ said Mum. ‘You’ve never said such a thing in your life.’

‘Well I’m saying it now. You’re not to tattoo them. Why would you do such a thing! It will take away all your beauty! (Dad has a slight penchant for the dramatic) No, you musn’t.’

Me: ‘Dad, will you accept that in this instance, I might know a little more about the subject than you?’

‘Yes but you’re trying to ruin your mother’s looks, why would you do that?”

‘I disagree. Brows will make her look younger and more beautiful! Mum, what do YOU want to do?’

*Shrugs.*

Dad walks out in a huff to watch the news, muttering about tattoos being permanent and what kind of person gets a tattoo on their face, and don’t they know tattoos are permanent and so on.

‘I didn’t get a say in his tattoos.’

‘Mum, it’s your decision. There’s no rush.’

‘He’s never said that about my brows, you know.’

An excerpt from Tatts My Life, Penguin $29.95.

Look, of course it’s Mum’s decision, but since Dad is now the leader of The United Front for No Eyebrows, she’s changed her mind. Mum will learn how to fill in her brows and get them tinted, which she was happy with as a compromise.

Dad’s side of the bargain is that he is never to cut his hair into a mullet again, which sounds like a joke, but he quite frequently returns from the hairdresser looking like a Penrith drug dealer, just to annoy mum.

May I suggest, if your mum is a little lacking in the brow department, she gets them tinted and shaped? And if possible, and feasible, makes a trip to say, the Bobbi Brown counter to learn how to fill them in, and which products to use and how?

Gosh it makes a difference. No matter your age.

Does you dad have an opinion on beauty-related matters?

Do you generally ignore it?

Probably a good idea.

Posted by: Zoe Foster

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Tags: anti-aging, eyebrow shape, eyebrows

50 Comments

Posted by: Alex // Tue, 22 February 2011 02:58pm

I took my mum to Benefit Brow Bar in Paddington Sydney to get her brows tinted and she LOVES them! Makes such a difference!
Posted by: Ashlee Enthusiast // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:00pm

Your parents sound great Zoe! And your mum looks fantastic with her new eyebrows.
Posted by: talia // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:06pm

My red hair! I was not allowed to touch it as a teen. So I naturally rebelled and dyed it green, black and cut it off into a pixie cut before my deb ball.

Now I’m more at peace with it, but more out of laziness of dying it than anything else.
Posted by: kimberleyms Enthusiast // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:08pm

Lien did a fabulous job on your mum’s eyebrows! Makes such a difference.
Posted by: Tiffins // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:09pm

i cant believe how much younger that has made your mum look! amazing!
Posted by: Kelly Lee McCarren // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:09pm

My cute, crazy nan had her eyebrows tattooed and although they looked HILARIOUS to begin with, they settled in on her face beautifully.
Posted by: luvmy217 // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:10pm

Ha ha my mum suffers from the same problem. Just this weekend I took her shopping and to the benefit brow bar to learn how to fill in her brows. She looks fantastic! It really makes such a difference.
Posted by: biscuit Supporter // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:31pm

I too have been cursed with too-thin eyebrows!! this may be due to overplucking/waxing in my youth, but they just dont seem to be growing back as thick as I would like them may take myself to the brow bar in melbourne to get this situation taken care of! need a lesson on how to fill them in as well!
Posted by: Figgyfustario // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:34pm

Oooh it’s a tricky one – but I suppose I could get used to Mum with eyebrows. It certainly changes her face and not for the worse it’s true. I just love her to bits the way she is though (you can slap me later). I think it’s sweet of Dad that he loves her the way she is too when so many men clearly find mass appeal in the upgrade…
Posted by: Zoe Foster Supporter // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:42pm

Figgy, you rascal! (That’s my sister, everyone.)

I love mum the way she is too. And I loved watching Dad go into super-protective-she’s-perfect-the-way-she-is-mode. I also love Twix bars. (Less relevant.)
Posted by: Beck // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:46pm

Zoe, i just had a brow experience with my mum last week. My mum also has very fair eyebrows (she is english not dutch) and decided to use the voucher a family memeber had given her for Christmas and booked in for a brazilian and an eyebrow wax – neither she has had before. I visited her the day after and she looked like Oscar the grouch. They had shaped her eyebrows very straight and tinted them very dark making them the first thing you see. Hope when i vist this weekend they have lightened up!
Posted by: Roxanne // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:54pm

While I was suffering through the angst of puberty, my father loved pointing out any gnarly “volcanoes” residing on my face. “Check out that boulder,” he’d say. He really enjoyed these remarks and in the more public place to say them, the better.

But I still love him to bits.

Oooh, and you’re mum’s filled in brows look spectacular.
Posted by: candyapple // Tue, 22 February 2011 03:59pm

Your mum looks great with those brows

Is it ever possible for eyebrows to simply not suit a person? I am naturally very fair and blonde, and so my eyebrows are white/golden. Times when I have attempted to fill them in lightly with pale brown, I have ended up looking like a sesame street character, just ridiculous.

Sadly I have concluded i’m not meant to have brows, which is such a shame considering how much they have brightened your mum’s face!
Posted by: MayaS Devotee // Tue, 22 February 2011 04:12pm

HAHA! I love this. And your mum looks fab with her fancy new eyebrows! Whenever my sister or I get a haircut my dad always compliments it, and then says “How much did that set you back??!” After we tell him he responds with (semi) fake outrage “WHAT?!?! YOU SPENT $60?! You should save your money! My barber Con could do it for $11!!” He’s been to the same greek barber for as long as I can remember and he’s never put his prices up. None of our fancy salons will ever live up to Con!
Posted by: amy1 Enthusiast // Tue, 22 February 2011 04:17pm

love the story telling zoe, very entertaining! and yes, my dad also has a knack for being somewhat blunt with his comments on my appearance – either positive, or not so positive – but at least i know i can trust him to let me know if i look like an idiot or something! (plus dad’s never mean to say anything deliberately mean, which is kind of endearing)
Posted by: Nicole // Tue, 22 February 2011 04:18pm

I think eyebrows make a whole person’s face.
Thin eyebrows are o.u.t.
Posted by: Shaybear Devotee // Tue, 22 February 2011 04:24pm

Oh what a wonderful article Zoe! I think your Mum should have waited a week of having her brows filled in, then went off and had them tattooed and your Dad wouldn’t even have noticed! I guarantee it.
Posted by: beautybee1 Master Fan // Tue, 22 February 2011 04:39pm

Your mum’s eyebrows look fantastic and natural Zoe.
Posted by: Roxanne // Tue, 22 February 2011 04:47pm

Agh, shoot… *your. Sorry Primpetts!
Posted by: Danni Master Fan // Tue, 22 February 2011 05:21pm

Those new eyebrows look perfect! I absolutely HATE the pencil-line brows older women wear. Yuck.
Posted by: Becca Master Fan // Tue, 22 February 2011 05:24pm

too funny Zoe, love it!
My dad sure has opinions, in the kind that it’s not worth getting highlights in your hair because you can barely tell the difference…
Posted by: Nicole // Tue, 22 February 2011 05:28pm

Dad:You look beautiful today, Nicole.
Me: Wow, thanks Dad!
Dad: Yeah, your Mum used to have a top like that, she wore it when she was pregnant. You look just like she did.
(N.B. I’m very much NOT pregnant. My defence – If one’s cup size is any larger than a B, one will ALWAYS look pregnant in a baby-doll top).
P.S. Never wore that top again.
Posted by: Rose // Tue, 22 February 2011 05:30pm

you guys are so cute. eyebrows are key.
i love that your dad is protective of your mum, but you’re such a good daughter too
Posted by: Eleanor // Tue, 22 February 2011 05:44pm

I’m with your sister.

And I’ve noticed a growing (hehe) obsession with eyebrows in the beauty world recently which I don’t get.

In this case, Father might really know best.
Posted by: PeachieKeen // Tue, 22 February 2011 06:07pm

Speaking of cosmetic tattooing, does anyone know a good place to get eyeliner done? Not the wobbly, overdone, obvious, tacky stuff, but more natural “tightlining” along the upper lid? Anyone?
Posted by: JC // Tue, 22 February 2011 06:30pm

Love this! I always thought of getting eyebrow tattoos as such an Asian thing. I was wrong. Your mum looks great!
Posted by: louweeez Devotee // Tue, 22 February 2011 07:23pm

Oh Zoe! I have commented many time on Lien the Brow Magician… y’see I have eyebrows but very blonde white blonde eyebrows… Enso I tint them with 1000hour kits. A while back my ma (who has grey white grey eyebrows) says ooou where’d you get that done… I say der in mah bathroom, enso now I do mine and my ma’s brows… Excellento
Posted by: Tina-1291133452 Master Fan // Tue, 22 February 2011 08:53pm

cant believe what a huge difference eyebrows make to the face! your parents sound so awesome!
Posted by: loopylexy Master Fan // Tue, 22 February 2011 10:22pm

Oh yeah, my dad HATES when I straighten my hair. And my grandmother is worse. Pretty much the entire speech your mum made, just many times over!
Sometimes I ignore it… but I think they have a point.
Posted by: daniellee Enthusiast // Tue, 22 February 2011 11:03pm

haha Zoe, your dads so cute! and your mums new eyebrows look amazing!
Posted by: jeffy Devotee // Tue, 22 February 2011 11:13pm

hahaha hilarious post!
But beauty related, I’m so amazed at how beautiful those filled in brows are!
Posted by: Jasmin Enthusiast // Wed, 23 February 2011 08:11am

You know, I don’t think it’s just dads. I think its boys/men/gentlemen in general. I find it rather amusing when men contribute to any great beauty debate. But on the topic of dads, while I was growing up my dad always brushed my hair so that it was swept to the side in a massive 80s style and let it dry naturally. He still finds it baffling that I want to blow dry and straighten my hair.
Posted by: ErinG Enthusiast // Wed, 23 February 2011 08:21am

Both of my parents always insist on me leaving my hair in it’s naturally curly state.
I don’t know how many times I have to remind them – my hair falls more into the ‘zig-zag’ department instead of curls, and FRIZZ ISN’T COOL, MUM.
Posted by: Alishes Enthusiast // Wed, 23 February 2011 10:27am

Your mum looks great with her brows pencilled in.
In my teens my dad made all sorts of unwanted comments about how I looked and what I wore. Mostly I didn’t care but the “look at all that oil on your face, we should put some wells in and start selling, I could run my car off it” comments really cut to the core. Thankfully he now sticks to nice comments about my hair.
Posted by: Peta // Wed, 23 February 2011 12:16pm

Yet another hilarious post!! Your dad sounds exactly like mine, I have just come to the conclusion that men can’t cope with change! But I must agree, your mother’s new brows look beautiful! I’m hesitant about tattooing them though, maybe just because I’ve seen so many awfully done brow tarts!!
Posted by: Browsandmakeup Supporter // Wed, 23 February 2011 12:43pm

This is the funniest blog ever Zoe.
I had such a great time looking after your mum that day.
I hope I can teach her to recreate this brow shape.
x
Posted by: xKMS Master Fan // Wed, 23 February 2011 12:45pm

her eyebrows look really good!!! my mum doesnt really have eyebrows either!! and this kinda sounds like my family :S.. my dad has a bit of penrith drug dealer hair going on… shameful!! lol
Posted by: melmeko Master Fan // Wed, 23 February 2011 12:56pm

Haha totally enjoyed reading the yarn about your folks darl, your mum looks super hot with her brows done, lol your Dad makes me laugh, great, light-hearted blog for me to get into just before lunch here, has put a smile on my dial, good on you darl
Posted by: muso Master Fan // Wed, 23 February 2011 01:32pm

WOW, your mum looks gorgeous with those eyebrows! Thankfully my dad never made any comment on beauty-things. He thinks us girls should know enough. Hehehe.
Posted by: Monica Devotee // Wed, 23 February 2011 01:53pm

I take my mum to get hers tinted and shaped. She loves it
Talia: I have red curly hair aswell! I apreiate it now but certainly didnt when i was younger!
Posted by: Karen-1298334769 Master Fan // Wed, 23 February 2011 03:01pm

My Dad woudn’t dare have an opinion on beauty around me or Dad as he would get shown the door lol. But my Mum has absolutely no eyebrows at all, does anyone know a good tatooist in Melbourne that does good eyebrows and not ones that look like Amanda Palmer?
Posted by: Anna // Wed, 23 February 2011 09:54pm

this article made me laugh so much! My dad is usually silent about my appearance or clothes but on the weekend I was smugly wearing some distressed boyfriend jeans and thinking I looked uber cool when my dad said “good to see you made an effort and wore your good jeans out!”. ahh, let the good times roll!
Posted by: misslysie Master Fan // Wed, 23 February 2011 10:13pm

Lol Zoe, you make me laugh. Your mum’s brows look fantastic!
Posted by: VivaLaVicki Devotee // Thu, 24 February 2011 09:54pm

Ah Zoe, you are so cute with your curls!

And what a yummy mummy – the eyebrows look great!
Posted by: goddessmagick Enthusiast // Fri, 25 February 2011 03:07am

Well this explains it all! I’m of dutch descent and have always wondered why my fair (ok, non-existant brows) were that way. No, I tell the beauticians I have NEVER over plucked or over waxed, thats how they have always been! (not they believe me, lol) Love ♥ this article, Perfect
Posted by: BettyBoo Devotee // Mon, 28 February 2011 07:11am

LOL – thanks for the giggle – loved this post. Your mum looks amazing with her new eye brows!!
Posted by: annaspanner Enthusiast // Mon, 28 February 2011 09:34am

your mum’s brows look brilliant, zoe!
Posted by: eleanorw Enthusiast // Mon, 14 March 2011 04:35pm

All for the eyebrows! You both have great brows I must say
Posted by: sumaya Master Fan // Fri, 25 March 2011 01:57pm

When it comes to beauty my dad butts out lol
Posted by: lady Enthusiast // Thu, 21 July 2011 01:39pm

Love the ‘brows’! Hope she had some success with the tinting and shaping