If you haven’t already, please be watching makeup artist Chris King and the delightful Demi (watch this one, I reckon she’s gonna be YUGE) in this PTV How To as he explains why we should all be wearing bottom-lash mascara, and if we don’t, we’re basically letting all of society, the environment and the entire endangered spotted owl population down. Or something to that effect.

Chris’s technique is simple: get your brush in there (before doing your top lashes) and gently stroke from the root to the tip. I found that a traditional “fluffy” mascara wand does a better job of the lower lashes than the rubber comb style ones. (So today, for example, I used Revlon Beyond Naturals defining mascara (comb) up top and Estee Lauder Turbolash (fluffy) on the bottom.)

But I once learned another way, which I have to say is Rather Genius, should you want to try it.

It was, I think, the international makeup artist for the now defunct Pout cosmetics (a sad thing; their liquid illuminator was superb), who taught me this, and his tip was: Simply rest your mascara wand (fluffy traditional one) horizontally along your bottom lashes and blink a few times. This “stamps” the mascara onto your bottom lashes and saves you having to delicately and carefully get your walloping great wand in there and coat each of them.

Convinced?
Will you be bottom-coating?

Disclaimer: The fact that I have chosen to write this on a Sunday after a Saturday night spent consuming enough alcohol to power a small jet does not mean that I am hung over, or that I came home without the jacket I left the house wearing earlier in the evening (bad), but with an interesting, gooey substance masquerading in my head as ‘a brain’ (worse) and a salt grinder and two fresh limes (tasty).

SO. Here’s what you do when you finally wake up and realise it’s so late in the day that you’ve missed the breakfast boat and now have to meet your girlfriend for lunch but all you really want is a coffee and several hundred Nurofen. I apologise to those who have oily skin – these tips may not suit you because they are deliberately intended to create sheen, and if you have oily skin, this is the very thing you avoid. But! Remember: Even oily skin can be very dehydrated.

Drink three large glasses of water. Powerade too, if available. If not, make it available.

Shower. (Try to stand up during this if possible.)

Use a scrub/exfoliator on face so that all face creams have a better chance of penetrating skin.
Try: L’Oreal Paris Derma Genesis Cellular-Cleansing Exfoliating Foaming Cream.

Use eye makeup remover on kohl remnants. Quite extensively.

Apply eye drops to clear up redness.

Apply a hydrating serum if possible, or massage in some rosehip oil.
Try: Kosmea Organic Rose Hip Oil, $22.95.

Apply a VERY luxurious, thick face cream. Your usual face cream will not cut it today because your skin is going to be so dry. This is because selfish organs like the brain and liver are using up all the available water in your system after you decimated your hydration levels with all those margaritas.
Try: Ella Bache Creme Intex, $50, or Decleor Paris Aromessence Essential Balm, $80. These are both lovely and thick (the Decleor is a face oil/balm) and will give the face a slight sheen/healthy glow.

Apply twice the usual amount of eye cream.

Apply primer. This is crucial because your skin will be so thirsty it will eat all your makeup no matter how much you apply. Primer is your best chance of keeping it in place.
Try: Napoleon Autopilot Pre-Foundation Skin Primer, $49.50.

Apply your foundation. Please do not use powder or matte foundations if possible, mineral notwithstanding. The idea is to reflect light, to make your face glow. A powder finish does not do this. Makes skin look even more dry. Brings out fine lines. Bad. Use blotting paper if you’re worried about shine.
Try: Max Factor Age Renew Foundation, $34.95, Invisible Zinc Tinted Daywear SPF 30+, $32, Bobbi Brown Moisture Rich Foundation SPF 15, $75 – and don’t be afraid to mix in some liquid illuminator, like Clinique City Block with shimmer, or Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector, $66.

Use creme/gel bronzer. MAN, will this make a difference – your eyes will look brighter, your teeth whiter, your face warmer, less dead-like. Apply along cheekbones and up around and along your hairline above the forehead. Don’t be afraid to use more than you normally would.
Try: Giorgio Armani Bronze Mania Skin Tint, $75, NP Set Liquid Veil in Buenos Aires, $30.

Use creme/gel/tint blush in a bright shade. This will ‘lift’ your face. Give you some health. Apply to the apples of your cheeks rather than along the cheekbones for a fresher look.
Try: Benefit Posie Tint, $53, Kit Cosmetics Duo Cheek & Lip Creme in Pretty Cheeky, $37.95.

White liner on the inner rim of eyes. A little black liner on the outer corners of the top lash line. Curl lashes. Lots of mascara. If you must wear eye shadow, go for something like a tiny bit of sheer, shimmery light blue or pink creme shadow just over the eyeball, which will give eyes a fresh, open look. Well, attempt to, anyway.

Drink some more water.

Stick to lovely juicy nude gloss OR even better go for a punchy lipstick, which will devilishly draw attention away from those bleary peepers down to your mouth.
Try: Revlon Matte Lipstick in Pink About It, $21.95, Laura Mercier tangerine lipstick, $42, or that Kit lip/cheek duo from up a few sentences.

Apply some lovely perfume so you at least smell good even if you still – despite all of the incredible trickery just detailed – look like shit.

Alcohol! Making us look pretty even before the hangover kicks in!

How do you hide a hangover?

DON’T.

It’s really, really bad for the skin on your face. Your skin doesn’t like really hot water at all, it stresses it out and because the skin on your face is so thin and sensitive, what can eventually happen is your capillaries burst, and you can end up with redness and broken capillaries. The derm who told me this little nugget of very valuable information told me that she can sometimes even spot a faint red circular area of capillary damage on some (older) people’s faces, caused by years of hot water streaming onto the forehead, nose and chin.

A much better option is to splash water (never hotter than warm) up onto your face from cupped hands in order to wet it or rinse off your cleanser. In fact, this is not only just a better option, it is an excellent option because it stimulates the circulation.

Are you a hot shower bandit?

Have you noticed capillary damage?

What’s your trick to masking redness and capillaries? 

I learned this trick from a talented makeup artist named Chris King. He works with La Prairie as a makeup artist (as well as teaching makeup artistry at his Look Make Up Workshops) and he made my face look incredible in the way that only professional makeup artists know how. It was all flawless and perfectly contoured and TV ad campaign looking. I learned many tricks from him as to how this transformation occurred, but rather than spew all of them up in one post, I’m going to portion them out so that each of them actually sticks in your head.

The first one, and the one that I am most enchanted with, concerns loose powder, something which I’ve always eschewed in favour of the radiant, almost-shiny, fresh look I prefer (you know, the one that lasts about four minutes.) The thing about loose/translucent powder, for the three of you who don’t already know this, is that it’s deliberately sheer and lightweight in order to give your makeup lasting power sans a powdered look. It’s meant to be invisible. Hence the term translucent. Still, I never used it. But I’m converted now. Only in some areas, though. Like under my eyes areas.

Here’s what Chris did, all of which took less than a minute and which made my eyes look bright and concealed and even-toned ALL day, when usually I have to re-apply my Touche Eclat every few hours.

1. He applied my foundation all over (La Prairie’s delicious Anti-Aging Foundation contains SPF 15, antioxidants and moisturisers, is lightweight, radiant but semi-matte and remarkably, seems to not go into my creases at all. I’m shade 300, which I recommend as the perfect shade for anyone who usually hovers around ‘sand beige’ tones), taking the foundation all the way up to my eyes.

2. He then followed up with under eye illumninator, patting it in up around the nose and onto the eye lid, and all the way under the eye up to the outer crease which should always be done because it can get red and or shadowy over there. He pats rather than rubbing, because rubbing just rubs away all the product as well as damaging the delicate skin around the eye.

3. Finally, he took the sweet little powder puff that comes in the adorable little travel size La Prairie Cellular Treatment Loose Powder unit and he very gently began dabbing on some loose powder over the entire area he just applied undereye illuminator.

At this stage of course I was like NO CHRIS! PUT THE PUFF DOWN! You will make my fine lines stand out, you naughty little cucumber! And he chuckled and said, No I won’t. Makeup has come a long way since the days when powders exacerbated fine lines. The spheres in this powder, not to mention the skincare and the cellular complex, mean that they not only don’t embellish fine lines, they basically fill them in.

I figured he was lying, but I nodded anyway. Three hours later, still no fine line creasy business. Give it a go and see the difference it makes to your under eye concealer/illuminator staying power.

I realise these products are sitting up at the pointy end of the price scale, but I also think that sometime you have to consider your foundation to be the handbag of your makeup bag, in that it’s something you’re going to wear each day, and as such is worth investing in. Do you agree? Or think I’m off my tree?

How to apply mousse is pretty simple:

Measure out a 6 x 6 mm portion of mousse and set aside in a petri dish to set.
Now, taking a ceramic fine tooth comb and a stainless steel kebab skewer, transfer the mousse to the hair, taking care not to go any higher than 1.67cm off the scalp.
Apply heat from a blow dryer to the moussed sections, but ONLY with the nozzle facing at a 49% angle.

Alternatively, you could just do this:

Spray mousse onto your hand, and brush in your mousse from the root to the tip when your hair is damp and freshly washed. Now when you blow dry, you’ll get volume, and even if you use a flat iron after blow-drying, you will still have volume and movement.

Try: Prive Concept Vert Volumizing Froth, $39.95. It’s a gel, so it’s foolproof.

Are you a mousse fan?

What’s your favourite brand of mousse?

Do you use it for all styles – straight, curly, wavy, up ‘do, down ‘do?

And here is my Twanser:

Regarding the “yay” – Yes! It IS exciting, isn’t it! I agree. Eye liner is a real marvel.

Elegant, top lashline liner only for Miss SCARLETT. Delightful.

Regarding the best way to use eye liner, it depends on what look you want. And for the sake of brevity and keeping things simple, I will JUST be focusing on traditional pencil eye liners, not gel ones and not shadow-used-as-liner either, because I will end up writing too much and boring the haggis out of you all.

Handy hint! When applying (any) eye liner, I find it best to tilt your head back on an angle and look down into the mirror. You can see more of the lashline this way.

1. For a gentle, I’m-not-really-wearing-eyeliner, and you want your lashes to appear fat and luscious-as, look, dot eyeliner between the lashes on the upper lash line. This is a Very Old Makeup Artist Trick and they all swear by it.

2. When you are a bit rubbish at getting it right on the lashline, do the line first in a light brown pencil. Then go over it with black. Like tracing when you were in Year Two.

3. For an ANGELINA JOLIE style wing, do your usual line, then when you get to outer corner, stop. Now start a new line at the very end of the bottom lash line, and follow the exact angle that bottom lashline would follow if it kept going up to meet the end of your eyebrow. Just go a cm or so. Fill in the little triangle between the two lines. (Or, cheat with that aweso winged eye liner trick.)

Another handy hint! For massive staying power, follow your eye pencil line with a gel liner (the ones in the little pots, such as MAC Fluidline) or a wet liner brush dipped into eye shadow. Go troppo and do a metallic shadow over your black kohl, for example. TROP. OH.

4. For a profoundly flattering look that will confuse everyone because they will think you’re wearing liner, but not be able to see it, waterline. Waterlining is when you apply liner to the inner lashline. We often do it on the lower lashline, by pulling down the bottom eye lid and lining in that fleshy bit between the lashes and the eyeball, but when you do it up top, it’s even better-er-er. The trick I find, is to use a soft, gentle kohl texture and to gently pull up your top lashline with your pinky, and then line. It will be VERY STRANGE when you first do it, and your natural instinct will be to blink like a crazed fool, but persevere, man! It takes some practice. But then you’ll nail it and you’ll wonder how you ever did without it, and why you would even bother with liner on TOP of the lashline. As well as looking dainty and making your eyes look bigger with just mascara, it looks smashing when you’re doing a smoky eye and you waterline the top and the lower lashline, too. And if you find it’s smudging and fading quickly (which can happen), just line your eyes as you would regularly and then when your waterlining disappears, you’ll still have those lines in place.

Handy hint! Keep your pinky in place when you’ve done your waterlining for a few seconds to allow the eye liner to set. And, use a waterproof eye liner to extra staying power.

Important hint that is more of a rule! Do NOT use liquid liner or glittery eye pencils when you waterline. You’re begging for irritation.

Sweet liner prodz I like:

Rimmel Soft Kohl
Maybelline Unstoppable eyeliner
Revlon Colorstay Liner
Chanel Crayon Yeux (waterproof)
Estee Lauder Double Wear Stay-In-Place Eye Pencil

Do you waterline?
Do you have a super giga awesome eyeliner we need to know about?
Do you think less of me for eating pizza twice today? You shouldn’t. You would have done the same thing in my position. (“Hungry.”)

Do you usually opt for a nude lip with bronzer? 

Do you keep your eye makeup simple if you’re wearing a bold lip? 

It’s that revolting white build up that occurs on the outer corners of the lips. It can attack at any time, whether you are wearing a lip product or not, male of female, astronaut or landscape gardener. It’s a universal problem. My school teacher used to have a chronic case. I’ve seen TV presenters with it. Even Eva Mendes and Brad Pitt would get it.

It happens to me. As an avid fan of lip gloss, lip liners, lip balm, lipsticks, lip stains, lip tints and lip salves, and as the owner of a set of lips, of course it does. The fact that I occasionally enjoy eating, drinking, opening my mouth and talking also means I’m a good candidate for something that for brevity’s sake, I will label, WS. (White shit.)

But I hate it. I hate it with a passion usually reserved for people who change lanes without indicating, or piercing, repetitive car alarms at 6am on a Sunday morning, or bad breath. It forces me to stop looking at someone as they speak to me. I feel slightly nauseous. Internally, I weakly call for my mother to save me. And when I see that I’ve had it and no one told me? I feel embarrassed. Ashamed. Dirty. You could almost, almost say it is my kryptonite. (Goodness, I hope my archenemy isn’t reading this.)

So here’s the plan. Here are the rules to stopping WS from occurring, either to yourself, or third parties. (Where is the second party? I always wondered that. Maybe they’re changing the music, or getting some more beers.)

1. You must always check your lips, by running your thumb and forefinger up and down them, and scraping your nails along the high risk area also, if you engage in long conversations, or are without water for a long time. (Lost in the desert? No excuse.) This little safety check especially pertinent if you are wearing gloss or lipstick, as they are chief culprits in WS.

2. You must kindly, politely warn people if you see it has happened to them. A simple gesture, (a pointed finger to the region on your own lips) or a quiet “Uh, you’ve got some build up on your lips…”, should do the trick.

3. You must forward this post to people you know suffer from WS, as a passive aggressive heads up, to let them know you will terminate all dealings with them if they do not sort this out.

A not given ( a taken?): Next time you’re buying gloss, peel back your lips and look at the colour of your gums. Now use them as your guide, because a gloss that matches the exact colour of your gums will be the most flattering shade of ‘nude’ for your lips. (Yes, you can hold up tubes of gloss to your gums in Myer. You can! Oh, come on. If anyone asks what you’re doing you can share your new makeup tip and then you won’t feel odd, because The Question Asker will be so grateful for your wisdom, she may even wish to hug you.)

Another given: Jessica Alba knew this trick a long time ago.

Make sure you swing by here and here for more nude makeup tips, tricks and looks.

1. A well-hydrated face, with primer is key to making your skin look good, and your makeup stay all day. (Try Napoleon’s Auto Pilot.)

2. Even if you use a liquid foundation, apply some translucent powder over the top to set your base. Remember, the races are all about lasting the distance. (Makeup, money and Moet-wise.)

3. Ditch the intricate, heavy smoky eye. Rarely looks good seven hours after it was applied (and four champagnes down). And it’s not really appropriate for daytime, either.

4. If you are wearing black, you must, by law wear a bright lip. Otherwise, no offence, but: how dull. Here is a delightful, universally-flattering makeup look to get inspired.

5. If your headpiece is super bright, colourful or busier than a Tokyo zebra crossing, keep the lips nude/pared down. (Please avoid fascinators if possible. A simple little hat with a netted veil, for example is SO much better. The vintage trend is big for a reason: it always looks elegant.)

6. Generally, I subscribe to the hair up school for the races. Why I say this is because with all the action going on with your dress, makeup, accessories and hats and headpieces, your hair just gets in the way. I recommend getting it professionally styled, OR, my preference is to get a blow dry, (or style it yourself like me – lots of mousse, volume and hot tongs) tonight, and then tomorrow, you will have volume and movement and it won’t be super clean, which means you can jam it back casually, pin it and stick your hat/barrettes/clips/bows/headpiece in. Which brings me to point 7.

7. The more glamorous the dress; the more casual the hair. (Just ask Kate Moss.) A little bit of a disheveled bun is perfect for the races. Or, go brushed-out curls and flip it over to one side so you’ve got a whole bunch of neck showing.

8. Remember that whole thing about before you leave, take one thing off? Still relevant. Just because it’s a Designated Dress Up Day, doesn’t mean you get to wear fishnet stockings, frills, gloves, big earrings, hat, red lips, necklace and several cuffs.

9. Do your nails. A lady who holds a glass all day must have neat, polished nails.

10. HAVE FUN. This is one of the few times a year you can inject some theatrics into your outfit! Dress in theme. Pick an era. Pick an icon and emulate their style. Go vintage shopping and find a fabulous pair of 50s spectacles, or a frilly stole. Shit, you’re not young and slinky forever, wear a wild hat, paint your nails black and rock that racetrack.

Here is a Real Life picture from the Melbourne Cup back in the ’60s for inspiration. How good does this bird look? I love it. Interesting hat, serious leather gloves, mad specs. Gorgeous.

What’s your favourite races-day look? 

Are you a hair up or down girl?

Lipstick or gloss? Hat or fascinator?