Colonic Hydrotherapy; yep, it’s back on PRIMPED

Thu, 19 August 2010 2:21PM

At the risk of turning this site into a forum for colonic lovers (and haters) to rather loudly shout their opinions, I’ve decided to post this blog despite the fact that I’ve been holding off on it for quite some time. The main reason was because Zo did such a spectacular job at explaining the procedure only recently, and I didn’t want to overload you with more poo talk. It’s not something that comes up everyday, you know. However, my story is a little different to hers, Primpers, and I want to pick up where she left off. You game? OK, let’s go…

Colonics are a tough topic to touch on. Mainly because, like cosmetic tattooing, Botox injections and Vietnamese pork rolls, when they’re good they’re very, very good, but when they’re bad, they’re nasty. You’re totally at the mercy of the person in charge of your procedure and if they’re under-qualified, they can cause you serious damage. It’s an unregulated industry, Primpers, which means that any Mary Poppins with a penchant for hoses and water and clearing out pipes can, in fact, set up shop and wheel the customers in one by one. Scary thought, I know.

This is where the critics come in. Many of you, or people you know, have had a bad experience with the whole process and in return, there’s an entire sector of Colonic Haters who are intent on shutting the industry down all together. Of course, the procedure isn’t for everyone. It’s really important that you don’t just read my take on the whole thing and think, “Well, if Yaz has done it, so should I”. Sure, it’s good for most of us, if we go to an expert, but if you have any doubts, double check with your doctor first. Promise me that, Primpers. Please.

However, for the few bad poo practitioners out there, there are some really amazing ones, too. This, I know first hand after my visit to The Colon Hydrotherapy Centre in Darlinghurst. I heard about this place through Emma, the chick in charge of Urban Remedy (remember that amazing cleanse I did?) who told me she’d gone to see Marcus and he was pretty much the Poo God. Her tummy was flat, she felt amazing and her energy levels were restored to new Everest-like heights. All the things that Zo talked about getting, Em was getting too. I was absolutely keen to try.

Best of all, Marcus was a TRAINED practitioner, Primpers. He has a Diploma from the College of Applied Natural Sciences – the only government registered and acknowledged qualification available in Australia. So you know, he knows his pipes from his poo and when there’s a body, MY BODY, involved, that’s a really important factor in this whole crazy procedure. Oh, and I know that you’re probably thinking “he’s a dude” but I got over that in about 2.3 seconds. He instantly makes you feel comfortable and before you know it, you’re sitting there discussing the corn you ate for dinner and how much you love the taste of liquid chlorophyll (have you tried it? It’s tasty. And very good for you).

The main reason I went to Marcus in the first place was because I was feeling bloated. Really bloated. I was gassy, I was tired and lethargic and just not feeling as good as I could. Plus, I was doing a 40-day yoga revolution and they recommended getting a colonic as part of the process.

So, on the bed I hopped. Pants off, hoses in and just the slightest amount of embarrassment to tie the whole thing together. I had good levels of hydration but there was room for improvement, but what really blew me away (and why I’m writing this post right now, Primpers) is the fact that I had so much adrenal fluid in my system. In short, I was stressed. Very stressed. And this is where it gets interesting…

Apart from all the other benefits Zo touched on in her post, the one that made the biggest difference to me was clearing out this nasty fluid that was poisoning my system. You see, when we get stressed, our body produces chemicals that allow us to go into the ‘flight or fight’ mode we so often find ourselves in during really busy periods – like uni exams, work pressures, kids…you name it, it makes us stressed. Over time, these chemicals build up and become toxic and put added pressure on our entire system, including out intestines. They can make us put on weight, cloud our mind, make us lethargic and generally feel like shit, and it’s here, in this cloud of stress toxin elimination, that I found the biggest benefits of Colonic Hydrotherapy (or, Irrigation). Marcus literally cleaned away my stresses.

Walking away from each session was like a fog had been lifted from my mind. I would skip back to work and sit at my computer and just have such clarity. It was remarkable. Not only that, I felt different too. My body felt lighter, less stressed and I could cope with whatever came my way. Of course, the toxins build up and I’ve had to go back a few times to get rid of them, but session after session, I continue to see the differences in my body and my mind.

So, while there may be critics out there who are massively apposed to colonics, all I can say is don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. Oh, and always make sure your practitioner has that certificate so you can relax in the knowledge they know what they’re doing.

Tell me, Primpers…

Have you tried colonic hydrotherapy?
Are you stressed?
Do you ever feel tired, lethargic and foggy?

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20 Comments

  • Posted by: Kylie Smith // Thu, 19 August 2010 10:10am

    thanks yaz, i’m heard bad things about it, like it doesn’t need to be done, its risky etc.. but your review shows there are more positives. not sure if i will get it done, but i’m now more informed! thanks!

  • Posted by: Sally // Thu, 19 August 2010 10:45am

    Thanks for the review! I’ve been thinking about this for a while, so thanks heaps for all the tips. Is there a way of accessing a list of some of the recommended practitioners across Australia, rather than just Sydney?

  • Posted by: Leah // Thu, 19 August 2010 10:51am

    Can anyone recommend a place in Melbourne??

  • Posted by: tsm1990 // Thu, 19 August 2010 10:55am

    i sooooo want this done….i am fairly thin but my tummy is always always bloated and sticks out.

    How much does each one cost and how many times do you have to have one?

  • Posted by: Jasmin // Thu, 19 August 2010 10:55am

    Yaz, do you think you could ask Marcus if he can recommend a good, certified practitioner in Bris? And perhaps one in Melb, Perth and Radelaide for other Primpers. I would’ve loved to have tried this when I was in Sydney but I ran out of time. I’ve been stressed to the max & it’s wearing me down.

  • Posted by: kjhanc // Thu, 19 August 2010 12:28pm

    thanks for the post yaz, this is something i have wanted to do and neeeeed to do so badly, your list of reasons as to why you did it is EXACTLY how im feeling at the moment! so bloated so lethargic! i hate it! just like the other ladies asked can you suggest somewhere fabulous in melb?

  • Posted by: cashmere Enthusiast // Thu, 19 August 2010 12:40pm

    Yaz – how many sessions did you do? You’re very brave, btw.

  • Posted by: Yasemin Turker Enthusiast // Thu, 19 August 2010 01:03pm

    Hi Primpers, I’ve left a message for Marcus so I’ll let you know asap. I had 6 sessions, 4 initially and then 2 follow ups. I’m going to keep checking in every few months going forward, too. Yx

  • Posted by: kjhanc // Thu, 19 August 2010 01:40pm

    i’ve done abit of research and Purity Body Mind Soul in Hampton, Melbourne is sounds amazng, there is a link in the ‘media’ section of their website that takes you to a youtube video interview with the director Natalie Bondine

  • Posted by: loopylexy // Thu, 19 August 2010 04:06pm

    Part of me is so fascinated by colonics… and another part of me is so skeptical. Like, “toxins building up”? Seriously? With our liver and kidneys and all the wonderful things they can do, they can’t deal with day to day digestion?? Hmmm.

  • Posted by: AB // Thu, 19 August 2010 04:50pm

    I’d love a list of credible colonic joints. I once spent $100 on a treatment in which the hose was bent for most of the hour and the therapist didn’t stick around to make sure it was working. When I pointed it out she said, “oh well you’ll just have to come back for another treatment”.

  • Posted by: cashmere Enthusiast // Fri, 20 August 2010 10:40am

    OMG AB! What is the name of this abhorent place you speak of? You must name and shame so us primpers will never pass through their door.

  • Posted by: Yasemin Turker Enthusiast // Fri, 20 August 2010 11:04am

    I know AB, please share. Firstly, they should never leave you alone. Marcus would massage my tummy the entire time and if it was painful, he’d do something about it straight away. Your story is exactly why the industry is so frowned upon.

  • Posted by: nikkie // Fri, 20 August 2010 11:12am

    Yes please any where in melbourne ?I like many a person am stressed beyond stressed , simply exhusted and sick of crying a river everyday lol, so any in melb would be great!

    Niki

  • Posted by: rediska // Fri, 20 August 2010 12:18pm

    I had colonics at The Last Resort which was good, but being an IBS (=Irritable Bowel Syndrome) sufferer, it wasn’t a magic cure for my bloating issues and whatnot. In fact, my gastroenterologist called colonics a “cosmetic” treatment. So try it if you want but don’t pin your hopes on it.

  • Posted by: Yasemin Turker Enthusiast // Fri, 20 August 2010 02:47pm

    Guys, I’ve got a website from Marcus with all the registered places in Aus, it’s called the Australian Colon Health Association. There’s another called Colon Hydrotherapy Ass., but Marcus said that one’s not right. It’s the Colon Health Ass. you need. Oh the irony of that abbreviation. Ha!

  • Posted by: alex Newbie // Thu, 2 December 2010 12:09am

    thnx for the info

  • Posted by: samuel Devotee // Wed, 22 December 2010 11:36am

    I thought about it once and said there must be an easier way as for stress tired lethargic foggy all the above maybe I have to tried it. Bottoms up

  • Posted by: talkalot Master Fan // Sun, 26 January 2014 05:54pm

    This is something I’m not overly keen to try.

  • Posted by: beautiful87 Master Fan // Sun, 6 April 2014 05:43pm

    Wow sound great.

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