Colonic Hydrotherapy; yep, it’s back on PRIMPED
Thu, 19 August 2010 2:21PM
At the risk of turning this site into a forum for colonic lovers (and haters) to rather loudly shout their opinions, I’ve decided to post this blog despite the fact that I’ve been holding off on it for quite some time. The main reason was because Zo did such a spectacular job at explaining the procedure only recently, and I didn’t want to overload you with more poo talk. It’s not something that comes up everyday, you know. However, my story is a little different to hers, Primpers, and I want to pick up where she left off. You game? OK, let’s go…
Colonics are a tough topic to touch on. Mainly because, like cosmetic tattooing, Botox injections and Vietnamese pork rolls, when they’re good they’re very, very good, but when they’re bad, they’re nasty. You’re totally at the mercy of the person in charge of your procedure and if they’re under-qualified, they can cause you serious damage. It’s an unregulated industry, Primpers, which means that any Mary Poppins with a penchant for hoses and water and clearing out pipes can, in fact, set up shop and wheel the customers in one by one. Scary thought, I know.
This is where the critics come in. Many of you, or people you know, have had a bad experience with the whole process and in return, there’s an entire sector of Colonic Haters who are intent on shutting the industry down all together. Of course, the procedure isn’t for everyone. It’s really important that you don’t just read my take on the whole thing and think, “Well, if Yaz has done it, so should I”. Sure, it’s good for most of us, if we go to an expert, but if you have any doubts, double check with your doctor first. Promise me that, Primpers. Please.
However, for the few bad poo practitioners out there, there are some really amazing ones, too. This, I know first hand after my visit to The Colon Hydrotherapy Centre in Darlinghurst. I heard about this place through Emma, the chick in charge of Urban Remedy (remember that amazing cleanse I did?) who told me she’d gone to see Marcus and he was pretty much the Poo God. Her tummy was flat, she felt amazing and her energy levels were restored to new Everest-like heights. All the things that Zo talked about getting, Em was getting too. I was absolutely keen to try.
Best of all, Marcus was a TRAINED practitioner, Primpers. He has a Diploma from the College of Applied Natural Sciences – the only government registered and acknowledged qualification available in Australia. So you know, he knows his pipes from his poo and when there’s a body, MY BODY, involved, that’s a really important factor in this whole crazy procedure. Oh, and I know that you’re probably thinking “he’s a dude” but I got over that in about 2.3 seconds. He instantly makes you feel comfortable and before you know it, you’re sitting there discussing the corn you ate for dinner and how much you love the taste of liquid chlorophyll (have you tried it? It’s tasty. And very good for you).
The main reason I went to Marcus in the first place was because I was feeling bloated. Really bloated. I was gassy, I was tired and lethargic and just not feeling as good as I could. Plus, I was doing a 40-day yoga revolution and they recommended getting a colonic as part of the process.
So, on the bed I hopped. Pants off, hoses in and just the slightest amount of embarrassment to tie the whole thing together. I had good levels of hydration but there was room for improvement, but what really blew me away (and why I’m writing this post right now, Primpers) is the fact that I had so much adrenal fluid in my system. In short, I was stressed. Very stressed. And this is where it gets interesting…
Apart from all the other benefits Zo touched on in her post, the one that made the biggest difference to me was clearing out this nasty fluid that was poisoning my system. You see, when we get stressed, our body produces chemicals that allow us to go into the ‘flight or fight’ mode we so often find ourselves in during really busy periods – like uni exams, work pressures, kids…you name it, it makes us stressed. Over time, these chemicals build up and become toxic and put added pressure on our entire system, including out intestines. They can make us put on weight, cloud our mind, make us lethargic and generally feel like shit, and it’s here, in this cloud of stress toxin elimination, that I found the biggest benefits of Colonic Hydrotherapy (or, Irrigation). Marcus literally cleaned away my stresses.
Walking away from each session was like a fog had been lifted from my mind. I would skip back to work and sit at my computer and just have such clarity. It was remarkable. Not only that, I felt different too. My body felt lighter, less stressed and I could cope with whatever came my way. Of course, the toxins build up and I’ve had to go back a few times to get rid of them, but session after session, I continue to see the differences in my body and my mind.
So, while there may be critics out there who are massively apposed to colonics, all I can say is don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. Oh, and always make sure your practitioner has that certificate so you can relax in the knowledge they know what they’re doing.
Tell me, Primpers…
Have you tried colonic hydrotherapy?
Are you stressed?
Do you ever feel tired, lethargic and foggy?